One year ago today: A Story I’ve never fully told
One year ago today, I wasn’t here in Alabama for a vacation. I was here because I broke.
Most people know my grief. Losing my dad in 2022 changed everything. It was sudden, painful, and it wrecked me in ways I can still barely put into words. But what many people don’t know is what happened a year ago — the breaking point I hit, the decision I made, and how Chaos and Coastal Vibes was born from that moment.
The Breaking Point
On June 28, 2024, my dad’s birthday, I had a full mental breakdown. I couldn’t keep pretending I was okay. I couldn’t keep holding everything together for everyone else while falling apart inside. On June 29, I packed my vehicle and told the kids I needed to go. Kealen stayed home to enjoy his summer and pre season cross-country. Fayth got in the car with me.
We drove twenty-eight hours straight from Colorado to Alabama. No sleep. No food. Just heartbreak on wheels.
When we arrived, I walked into this house for the first time since my dad passed — and for the first time completely alone. Roc wasn’t there. My mom wasn’t there. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. I walked through the door and collapsed to my knees.
I sobbed. I missed my dad. I missed myself. I didn’t recognize the person I had become.
The summer that Changed Me
That summer changed everything. I spent hours in the sunroom crying, reflecting, talking to my dad (just me, out loud, by myself), and leaning on my mom and my best friend. I started to face the truth: I had lost myself. I was pouring from an empty cup. I was sacrificing my peace to keep the peace. I couldn’t live like that anymore.
So I set boundaries. And I kept them.
One Year of Healing
This past year hasn’t been smooth. More relationships ended. Some I still don’t understand. Some hurt deeply. But each one taught me something. And in that learning, I began healing.
Sitting here in Alabama again today, it feels so different. I’m not the same woman I was a year ago.
I’m not stronger than ever.
But I am stronger than I was.
I’m still working on myself. Still growing. Still learning to love myself in every messy, beautiful, chaotic season. I want to be a better mom, wife, friend, daughter, and leader. And that starts with being honest about where I’ve been.
The start of something real
Over the last few months, you may have seen me quietly starting something new: branding photos and posts with “Chaos and Coastal Vibes.”
Now you know where it came from.
The ocean has always been my safe place. The chaos has always been my reality. But this space? It’s where I bring both together. Where I share the messy middle. Where I write through the breakdowns and the breakthroughs.
So today, with a shaky but hopeful heart, I’m launching something deeply personal.
Welcome to Www.chaosandcoastalvibes.com — my real-life healing journey. Raw. Unfiltered. Unapologetic.
If you’re walking through your own version of rock bottom, I hope this space helps you feel a little less alone. Healing isn’t linear. It’s not pretty. But it’s possible.
Minute by minute. Day by day. One year at a time.
Just keep going. You’re not alone.